It’s been years now that the canadian media has been trying to get us to believe that it’s completely normal to think of the university of waterloo as somehow important. Outside of the major universities that already get all the funding and the reputational propping up, waterloo’s image was carefully constructed as that of the new niche up and comer. Even recently cbc (the garbage state funded media) ran a story sourcing some sort of ‘quality of life index’ nonsense that was very prominently declared to be from university of waterloo, as if that matters. Everywhere the eastern controlled media has been trying to build waterloo up, in particular as a newly important institution with a niche of supposed excellence in computer science and tech business innovation that would make it some sort of specialized canadian contender with other major technical institutions around the world (ie MIT and others like it). However, when I sought to examine just what made waterloo so deserving as the darling of the media for the above mentioned new university tech niches I was rather confused by the dearth of evidence to back up the media’s ongoing branding and whisper campaigns. In particular, I was shocked to discover that they had chosen to embark on this branding project for waterloo instead of Calgary.
For years I took the relatively recent ‘understanding’ that waterloo was among the best in canada for certain applied math programs, especially anything to do with computers, IT, or tech industry innovation for granted, as surely justified and legitimate. It was only after noticing that the University of Calgary, which had always been a neutral non-descript kind of university in my mind, was actually an extremely impressive institution with a breadth of top tier standards and accomplishments that were pretty unexpected. What was also unexpected was that Calgary turns out to be one of the world’s best and most significant universities in the very fields that waterloo has been built up as supposedly being world class in. Imagine that. The eastern canadians are spending all their time building up what appears to be the wrong school…a school which just happens to be in…yes, you guessed it: southern ontario.
Is there even any justification for the eastern liars’ ongoing manufactured hysteria about waterloo? Well, it does have a faculty of math and most of their applied math programs are well reputed…because the eastern liars keep telling us that they are, so now they kind of are. That’s pretty frail…almost ridiculous. But here’s where the eastern liars think they can get serious and justify themselves: RIM. Yes, you surely have heard of that ‘famous’ company, right? If you haven’t heard of ‘research in motion’ then you must’ve heard of ‘blackberry’. How could you not given how much over the top media coverage they got all over the world for so many years, possibly decades now. Hmm, yeah I guess that is an accomplishment right? That one thing, blackberry and rim… okay. Now let’s look at the University of Calgary to clarify that the easterners obviously know what they’re talking about and surely would never lie with an anti-Calgary anti-western canada agenda. Hmm, let’s see if Calgary is even relevant for CS stuff, I mean it seems silly to even think of comparing it to waterloo right haha…but wait, what’s this I see?…the University of Calgary is where the inventor of the Java programming language studied?? wow, that’s fucking weird…I mean that already makes Calgary pretty close to what we’re told waterloo is but until recently I’d never even imagined such a comparison could be legitimate. Yet, you read correctly. James Gosling graduated from the University of Calgary with a bachelor’s in CS before going to Carnegie Mellon, which is a pretty competitive US university. Yes, the same James Gosling who invented the Java programming language, no small achievement. This comparison might be a good idea after all. Let’s take a closer look.
Upon closer investigation it actually gets weirder, even more outrageous actually. The list of achievements in the very field that waterloo is supposedly canada’s world class leader in that have come out of University of Calgary graduates is actually quite significant. After Gosling we have a certain Theo de Raadt who was an early pioneer in open source programming and was involved in projects in which he collaborated with the University of California, Berkeley and DARPA…not exactly small fries. And that’s just the CS pioneers of important parts of the IT explosion that dominates everyone’s life on the planet now. There also engineering graduates of the University of Calgary such as Garrett Camp, whose innovations created major business phenomena such as StumbleUpon and Uber. I’d say that’s pretty significant and if I were considering a new university to promote as part of the more ‘elite’ club, using that niche to justify it, I think it would be pretty obvious that it should be the University of Calgary rather than waterloo. But that’s not even where it stops. Because there are actually even more things in that niche that have come out of the University of Calgary. Yeah, really. An early pioneer of wifi who invented WILan working out of UCLA was a graduate of U Calgary in physics, imagine that. Now stay in that imaginary dream world because according to the eastern liars you’d need to be there for this next one. Anyone who studies CS or IT will have likely heard of Xiaolin Wu’s Line Algorithm, an important contribution to image coding…guess where Xiaolin Wu studied CS? You probably guessed China and you’re right. But you know where he also studied? That’s right: after his bachelor’s degree from China (which is known to be on par with MIT for CS) Mr. Xiaolin Wu, a widely published Fellow of IEEE, earned a master’s and Phd in CS from…the University of Calgary. Incidentally, I’m guessing the Chinese are not nearly as ignorant as canadians about the quality of U of Calgary since one of their members of the Chinese Academy of Science, Mingjie Zhang, earned their Phd at the University of Calgary. And believe it or not, that’s not even the end of it. The most important member of New Zealand’s CS community who invented a platform that most of their business networks use and who is their top mathematician is Prof. Ian H Witten, a prodigy who graduated in mathematics from Cambridge and then studied for his master’s and doctorate at…the University of Calgary. Speaking of significant academics in math, CS, or engineering, Gerald Fuller is internationally recognized and holds an important position at Stanford and Klaus-Jurgen Bathe who pioneered the ‘finite element method’ is an engineering prof at MIT. Both earned their bachelor’s degrees at the University of Calgary and then did graduate studies at CalTech and Berkeley respectively. Even the commerce/MBA graduates are significant innovators in this niche with Jeremy Gutche inventing Trend Hunter and Gary Kovacs heading up Mozilla as its CEO!
But the laurentian ‘elite’ keep telling us that waterloo is the new tech university superstar of canadian academia? This blackberry/rim hype has been going on for over a decade now and what can we actually say about it? How about…blackberry/rim is a FAILED venture?! Yeah, in case anyone forgot, blackberry is a failed product and rim in general is a failed company! I mean holy shit, talk about brazen lying. The eastern canadian press is so full of it that only maggots would keep eating their bullshit. Perhaps that is what they think of the general population: maggots…shit-eating maggots. They pile on the bullshit and the fucking insects eat it up. That’s just the truth.
The reality is that it is the University of Calgary (a university whose science lab model is based off of a physicist who was part of the team that worked on the Manhattan Project and later was an early member of the physics dept) and the city of Calgary that should be favored and promoted as the new hub of technology and innovation for canada, NOT waterloo. So once again, western canada is short changed by the east…and it’s even to the detriment of the entire country since they are throwing support at a loser and undermining a winner: way to manage your human resources easterners! But that’s actually nothing unusual for these shitbags. I wonder…do they think they can hang on to the inroads they made in Calgary during the last election while shoving their fist up Calgary’s arse? They are pretty deluded about themselves so it’s actually possible. If any of them are reading this here’s a tip: don’t count on it.