Why death becomes us all: life in the material matrix is satanic; the only joy that doesn’t depend on someone else’s suffering is the emotional escape into the microcosm of imaginative self-destruction that occasions itself in religion and certain forms of art.
When we are born we know something good and have an anticipation that it can take place in the field of human experience. We are nurturing well-wishers to all, full of hope and positive energy. The opportunity to come together with a kindred soul blossom’s with the higher emotions of healthy sexual energy and could potentially create infinitely valuable quasi divine states of being. But for the vast majority (all?) of humans this gradually winds down as time goes on. And for some, like myself, it is violently and abruptly killed by the presence of evil that gives meaning to what we all know as ‘the world’. This evil need not take the form of overt abuse or clear examples of ‘accidental tragedy’. It need only manifest in the realization that emerges early on as the unwavering sword of satan slices through your opportunity and ability to meet your most basic and life affirming needs with other healthy humans. Every time your care givers let you down another slice is made. Every time your potential to create feelings of ‘love’ and communion with a fellow soul are frustrated, every time the communion with a potential girlfriend, even just a potential sex partner is obstructed by inexplicable forces, the sword of the devil cuts off another piece of your spinal cord and that part of you that could have made the field of experience divine is allowed to be sacrificed and used to create more evil in a deadened matrix of unseen and often unacknowledged forces.
All that is left for the hapless shit eater who drifts in the social nausea from then on is to try to recapture the fundamental life force that was mercilessly burned away in the distant past by helplessly and desperately reducing the mind into idealized memories of hope. Also called religion, nostalgia, and movies, the finest example of this zombified evil is found in the krishna bhakta cults which are very similar to sufism.
The deadening helps the broken person to continue through their physical existence while managing the anger and despair that accompanies the recollection of what they hoped for as newborns that was systematically taken away from them. They sometimes come close to remembering how beautiful it almost felt and could have been but if this happened too often they would likely become ‘mentally unfit’ for normal daily existence and, if permitted by a benevolent force, would find solace in a loving suicide.
Since that benevolent force is very rarely present, ‘make believe’ is all they have left while they wait for the body to expire. But every so often they remember something and it gives them hope that they may one day find the strength to make loving suicide.
hare fucking krishna X)